Falling in Love & Suicide

I was reading one of my recent WIP lines, and it struck me that the line worked for both falling in love, and suicide. Pleasant thought, I know. Well that thought led to a few more.

“You will always fall in love, and it will always be like having your throat cut, just that fast.”
― Catherynne M. Valente, Deathless

I rummaged through some romance novels, of which I have plenty, and noticed that often analogies for falling in, or being in love, sound like dreadful things. I did a quick search and found a whole list of things falling had been compared to: the plague, disease, murder, suicide, a virus, etc.

“Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need.”  Amanda McBroom, The Rose

Yes, I know there are a myriad of quotes that describe falling in love in a more fanciful way, but as I read through some quotes from others, it became alarming how well they work for the darker sides of life.

“…a fever which tests our strength, and too often leads to perdition.” ―George Meredith, The Ordeal of Richard Feverel

I don’t I know what falling in love is like for others. Perhaps for some, it is sunshine and soaring. I can’t say I’ve ever known it to be that way. It has always been a process of reluctance, digging heels in and eventually being taken over. Something close to drowning, where I flail and fight ‘til my limbs give out, and the enormity and power of the water around me wins out.

“I have flown and fallen, and I have swum deep and drowned, but there should be more to love than “I survived it.”  ― Lisa Mantchev, So Silver Bright

It has always been a process that is freighting to me. One I can’t imagine going willingly into.

“….but you’re still jumping off a cliff…” ―Lisa Kleypas

Yes, we can just chalk me up to being a lost cause on believing that falling in love can be a painless, openhearted process. It may be true enough that I am jaded, but you can’t deny that there are too many quotes that work well for awful things in life, as well as falling in love.

I pulled some of my own lines and have posted them below. Thing is, not all of these are about falling in love; some most certainly are, but some are just about unfortunate life events. Can you figure out which are which?

The cuts were small, one here and there, but each opened her wider. As they came faster, it became too hard to close them all. And then it happened, she surrendered and lay open before him.

Her heart raced in her chest and her arms threatened to give out. She clung fiercely to the crumbling edge, resisting the fall to the shimmering water below, the depth of which was still unknown.

Looking in the face of what was before me, I shivered. This could hurt, pain that would only be made bearable by the sweet adrenaline high that accompanied it for a time.

She stood on the edge, looking out over all that was before her. Closing her eyes, she spread her wings and jumped.

The blow came fast. It slammed in from the side, catching her unaware. She scrambled to recover, but it was too late. She had dropped her guard, and the damage was done.

Gwen was trying to balance just on the edge of the abyss. She saw how deep it was and knew if she slipped over the edge the fall would be endless.

He made the first cut. It opened a vein I knew I couldn’t close.

He careened over the edge, tumbling helter-skelter down the side with nothing to slow his fall. The hit waiting at the bottom would be swift and hard.

-Lines by May B.B.

Do you see what I mean? Love and suicide, sometimes murder, seem like peas in a pod at times. Still, I suppose it’s a part of life, however sweet or bitter, painful or freeing, that is all but avoidable.

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As always, you can find me on Facebook and Twitter. Hit me up, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this or anything else.

Sincerely,

May B.B. (The, goes kicking and screaming, Writer)

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2 thoughts on “Falling in Love & Suicide

  1. As someone who has experienced both, gut wrenching love and an attempted suicide, its always been all or nothing, People go all in or they don’t go at all when they are truly in love or when they make that choice to end it all. I don’t know maybe to feel true love is to feel true pain. My therapist says that when the heart opens and lets love in, its exposed raw so that the cuts of the pain that we feel when we lose that love close in to itself. Love and pain come from the same place of the heart so someone like me who goes all in feels the extremes. Great post! I wholeheartedly agree.

    Like

    • May B.B. says:

      Love and pain most certainly do come from the same place. All too often I find them to be synonymous, or at the very least, occurring in tandem. Even so, it can be a mighty, wondrous thing. So here’s to hoping for something that burns bright, something that heals, not hurts.

      Liked by 1 person

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